Monday, August 5, 2013

Summer Blues

I've got the summer time blues.  I should be energized, relaxing with my kids by the pool or at the beach, but I have been dragging my heals to everything these past four weeks.  I think part of the problem is due to the dreary summer weather we had and the sinus infections and ear infections that went around our house.  But I also think part of the problem is me.  I am in a slump.

My book released and there was so much enthusiasm and hope that the message would change the world and motivate more people to actively engage in the fight against human trafficking.  I knew in my mind that injustice simply isn't turned on its head because of passionate truth-telling words.  I knew in my mind that my book was simply an offering of what I had and that one book, one person, two passionate mothers could not take on the global evil of modern day slavery.  But as I sit in my backyard watching my puppy sniff and search for a good piece of grass to dig up, I must admit, my heart still hoped it would.  The book is still selling well and its message is getting out, but the excitement has waned and reality is sinking in.   I know, I know, I know that one person, two people, even a group of mama bears cannot with their words, with their money, with their time, with their energy, change the hearts of those who exploit and enslave others for profit.  But I think I still had hope they could.  I know it will take thousands of ordinary people to rise up and and be willing to inconvenience themselves and do their part to put an end to slavery in our lifetime.  I still truly believe it is possible, however, I now better understand what even I have been preaching "it is a marathon, not a sprint".

Ahh, deep breath.  It is okay.

I know other abolitionist moms who have been in this season before.  Some have been here for a long time. And I can only imagine those on the front lines rescuing a young girl one day just to hear that she was re-trafficked another. Or those attorneys and social workers who work tirelessly on behalf of others waiting months and years for their cases to be heard.  And then there are the victims.  How long must they endure enslavement and exploitation?  How long must they wait for someone to hear their cry, to believe their story, to rescue them?

Justice is tedious.  It requires steadfast focus.  It requires resilience and perseverance.  It requires strength.  It requires determination.

And yet it is okay.  As I type these words I know this is also true.  It is okay to go through slumps, to get off the roller coaster ride of trying to make a difference, and simply sit in my backyard and breath.  In this act of simply breathing I am uncomfortably aware I am not in control.  I am not a world changer.  I am humbled, painfully aware that I cannot break peoples' hearts to action.  As I stare out to my very simple rectangle shaped backyard with its strip of grass and lemon tree, I am reminded I am not God.  Only the God of the universe can break hearts that compel people to action.  I know he is a loving and gracious God and I have never seen him force people to change.  I have only witnessed God giving people choices.  Sure experiences and circumstances happen to and around people which I think He can intervene, but how people respond to those situations He gives to them.  I have known this first hand. This has been my experience.

I think this is my experience again. I am in a slump and it is okay...for now.  But there will be a day - I would imagine soon, where I will have to decide to either stay in this slump or take a deep breath and continue on.

Writing my thoughts out is my first attempt to continue on.


  1. I found your book very inspirational. You have done so much. May this slumpy feeling pass quickly! Truly it is a marathon. I have only just started to be aware thanks to you. I've yet to do anything really, except pray and talk about it. Anyway, I wish you well and may God bless you!

  2. Thank you Faith for your encouragement. Don't underestimate the power of prayer and sharing what you know with others. Your faithfulness in these things do make a difference as well!

  3. As I read your post, one of our VBS songs this year (tonight is the last night of VBS for my church) is playing in my head: don't worry - about anything, instead pray - about everything!

    I totally get where you're coming from. It's hard to wait, when you want change to happen now. I do know that each little thing that every person does adds up to a big thing. It's easy to lose sight of that when you're so ready for injustice to end. Just remember that it takes all of the little things, so keep doing your part.

    I'm a knitter. Knitters know that it takes thousands of stitches to make one item. Knitters recently contributed more than $60,000 to a bike ride supporting those affected by HIV in Toronto. Most of the knitters gave small donations ($5-$25). But all of those small donations added up to a very large amount of money.

    My point is, keep doing what you can do. Others will keep doing what they can do. And, together, we will make a difference.

  4. Thank you Angelina for the encouraging words. Love what your group of knitters have been able to accomplish! Staying the course together with other like-minded women change is achieved.

  5. Kimberly, I don't even know where to start. Believe me, I soak in your words as if they are mine.

    In 2009, I left my two small children behind with my husband and family and traveled to Cambodia with a group of total strangers. Didn't know what I was doing. I just knew God was telling me to go! During that trip my eyes and heart where opened to the horrors of sex-trafficking.

    I'll try to fast forward . . . Since that trip my church sponsors 4 children through Asia's Hope. I also work with a team of all volunteer teachers and yearly we travel to Cambodia and train teachers at the AIM school in Svay Pak. An area notorious around the world for the sex-trafficking of children. I know you featured Cambodia and IJM in your book.

    I'll try to keep moving along . . . I am part of a group of women who are ready to save the world from human trafficking! However, we have found it hard to take action and often frustrating. This summer my friend found your book, "You've got to read this book! It is our story!" Your book has given us the reboot we needed!

    We are currently starting an awareness and action group in our area (San Antonio, Texas). We don't know what the future holds but with the encouragement and information from your book we are moving forward both locally and in Cambodia!

    Thank you for your work and your words.


  6. I love your book and it has inspired me and my friends in our own pursuit of justice. After two mission trips to Cambodia I knew I could not just sit back and continue to do nothing. God was impressing upon me the importance of baby steps. Your book is full of steps to take to get us started! Things we might not have thought of! I would highly recommend the book Deepening the Soul for Justice by Bethany H. Hoang. Even if you have already read it...I think it is just what you could use right now! It is short and full of encouragement!!! Many blessings! DAWN

  7. Thank you both for your encouraging words. I LOVE love love hearing what you guys are doing. Thank you also, Dawn, for the reminder of Bethany Hoang's book. I have read it and need to go back to it. I'm coming out of the fog and ready for more steps.

  8. Kimberly, Just an update . . . we hold our first official meeting on Tuesday, October 8th. We will be showing the DVD Not My Life. We will also be stuffing and delivering stockings to Restore Innocence for rescued girls in our area. Again, thank you for your book! -jeannine

  9. Jeannine, Great news!! How did the first meeting go?